Recovering from a punch to the gut

Today was a difficult day for the Transgender community. The President of the United States tweeted that he was enacting a ban on transgender people in the military.

I first felt anger. Then, I quickly moved to sadness and fear. Where else would I lose freedoms, my job, my housing? Then, I went into overwhelm. How could this be happening? 

I'm certain many others experienced similar floods of emotion. For me, I'm fortunate that all the fears that ran through my head are not likely to happen. I have a job at a company that embraces diversity and works toward true inclusion. They were a leader in providing transgender health benefits before most other businesses. I own my home, so I won't be kicked out of it. I am blessed. Not everyone has the same blessings currently and their fears are real. I feel for them and will fight for them.

How do I process all of this? How do I stay grounded? How do I stay optimistic and work toward the world I want to be a part of, when it often feels that world is impossible?

Self-care. Support systems. Action.

Always important and more so when stressed; self-care is always my first answer. I am only able to be resilient and strong when I take care of my mind, body, and spirit. I feed them with meditation, mindfulness, nutritional food, proper amounts of sleep, and a spiritual practice that is comfortable to me.

Support systems are critical. I use therapy, support groups, coaching, and maintaining a full network of people who love and support me.

I take action where I can. I call politicians, attend protests, and have one on one conversations with people sharing with them my experience and challenges so they can understand what it is like to walk in my shoes and the shoes of other marginalized people. I can't just fight for me. Inequality for one is inequality for all. 

I expect I will go through the full grief spectrum as I process all of this. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are the stages I can expect. I also expect that I will come through it stronger and more focused on what needs to be done. I know I will. 

You will, too. Face it. Walk through it. Pay attention to what you're thinking and feeling. Your thoughts and beliefs translate into your actions. There are no wrong feelings. Be curious about your thoughts. Think about what is true for you in the moment. Ask yourself, is this real? Is it now or am I looking at the past or a future possibility? What do I want to do with it?

Be well, my friends. We will prevail. Stronger together.